After the encouraging meeting with the endocrinologist and nutritionist yesterday, I was feeling a little cocky. My numbers were "barely" high on the three hour, my 2 hour after a rather "naughty" breakfast was within range, so when my parents offered to take Li'l E and I out for Mexican food last night (my absolute, fall on the ground in ecstasy, I could eat this every day for every meal FAVORITE food), I decided to try a little experiment. Now that I had my monitor, I was going to eat whatever I wanted and see what happened. And kids, I INDULGED. I attacked that chip basket with gusto, being sure to give equal dipping time to the salsa and queso (I'm all about fairness!) I had my favorite chicken fajita flameada thinking, "Hey! That's full of protein at least!" Of course, the protein was wrapped in flour tortillas and accompanied by beans and rice, but I'm "barely" diabetic, right? It was a delicious meal. In fact, between me, Baby C, and the TexMex all vying for space in my torso, I could barely stand up straight when we left the restaurant.
When I got home I reveled in my solo evening (The Hubs out of town for a concert and Li'l E off on a grandparents' adventure weekend). I had a luxurious hot shower, curled up in bed with a book and some sparkling water, and enjoyed the mildly uncomfortable and vaguely smug feeling of being completely stuffed. Then test time rolled around...
I wandered sleepily into the bathroom, washed my hands, set up the monitor, fed the strip that little ruby bead, and... ONE FIFTY FOUR?!?! Yes, 154. Immediate sheepish guilt. The goal is to keep the 2 hour under 120. So, now instead of just being official on paper, it's official in my head: I have The Diabetes.
Except for feeling incredibly foolish for being so hardheaded, I'm actually embracing the whole experience. I know that keeping up with the diet and monitoring will keep Baby C and I healthy, and I know that I did a championship job of rocking this lifestyle with Li'l E and she is the most perfect thing in my world. Motivation is everything! :)
 


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